Earlier this spring, I came upon an article that reveled in the fact that for a few weeks each March, musician Gary Numan is older than actor Gary Oldman.

When I mentioned this phenomenon to Farmer Gary, he regaled me (for about the millionth time) with his theory of the name Gary.

Because he thinks about this a lot.

He’s convinced that all Garys on this earth are in their late sixties and early seventies. And he’s concerned. He worries that the name Gary was only doled out for a handful of years.

Here’s his evidence:

(Rest in peace, Gary W. Werne. We’re sorry for the mixups at the bank.)

For years, Gary and I have asked other Garys for their year of birth. It doesn’t matter who it was, if the person wore a nametag, signed an email, or answered the phone with that name, they were on the receiving end of that quick question. Nearly always, the answer fell neatly within the perimeter my husband set for this study of Garyology.

When I asked ol’ Gar if we should call this a theory, he insisted it was a theorem. “A theory is an educated guess,” he told me with a little too much solemnity. “A theorem is a fact that has been proven mathematically.”

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