Sister Amabilis
“I had a bad dream last night. In my dream, I hugged Sister Amabilis too tightly. I broke her.”
Poor Gary. He’d just met my great aunt the day before. He was stunned by how tiny she was.
As newlyweds in 1982, we made the rounds in New England to visit relatives who couldn’t make it to our wedding. It was a treat to see Sister Amabilis, who was then 87 years old.
Sister Mary Amabilis Regan was first-generation American, born of Irish-immigrant parents on October 2, 1895. She was baptized Margaret, named after her mother, Maggie.
Young Margaret was one of eleven Regan children (her oldest brother and sister, sadly, passed away before reaching school age). She was the oldest of the four surviving daughters.
Growing up, I remember hearing the most blessed of families were those who “gave” a son to be a priest and a daughter to be a nun.
I’m not sure if this was just an Irish saying, or an overall Catholic thing. Either way, it was a relief that, with each generation, there was less pressure to make this happen (me being the only daughter and all).
But Margaret, indeed, had the calling. The Sisters of Mercy welcomed her in September 1912; she professed her final vows in June 1920. She earned a Bachelor of Science degree from Saint Joseph College (now University of Saint Joseph) in 1956.
The story behind her choice of “Mary Amabilis” as her religious name is not, I’m sorry to say, part of our family’s lore. She’s the only Amabilis I’ve ever heard of, so I asked Mom and Dad. They didn’t know of a backstory, either.
Dad wondered if we should look to the Latin roots for the answer: “ama” meaning love and “bilis” for able. That she was.
It turns out there are two saints with the name Amabilis, one male and one female:
- Saint Amabilis of Riom acquired “a reputation for holiness” before he died in 475 AD. He is the Patron Saint of protection from Snakes, Snakebites, Wild Beasts, and Mental Disorder. His Feast Day is October 18.
- Saint Amabilis of Rouen was born to English nobility (by some accounts,the daughter of the king) and became a nun in France. Her death was in 634 AD, of natural causes. She’s also called Saint Mable; her Feast Day is July 11. (I’ve no doubt she, too, had a reputation for holiness.)
With so little information about either Saint Amabilis (I’m taking great care with my wording here, to avoid having to cipher the plural form of the name), I’m guessing there’s another story to be found.
Could there be another Sister Amabilis from earlier years? One whom young Margaret wished to emulate?
It turns out, the answer is “no.” But, with an online search for Mother Mary Amabilis, I’m pretty sure we’ve found the answer:
Mater Amabilis is one of many “descriptive titles” for Mary, Mother of Jesus. The Latin translation is Mother Most Lovable.
Our search has ended, don’t you think?
Did I mention that Sister Amabilis was a teacher? Yes, a first-grade teacher. For 58 years!
Just as I wished I could somehow find a student she’d taught, I came across this in an online magazine article called Eleven Nuns Who Changed My Life:
Thank you, Sister Mary Amabilis. Sister Amabilis was my first grade teacher. There were 64 baby-boomer children in her crowded classroom, desks closely spaced, coats doubled up on the coat hooks, with only one teacher and no teachers’ aides; and yet we learned.
Our parents—who sacrificed to send us to Catholic school, believing we would receive a superior education—were not disappointed. Sister Amabilis was never too busy to answer a question or to offer praise for a correct answer. She carried a pointer and a piece of chalk, quizzing us on the alphabet and teaching us to pray with our hands together, thumbs crossed and fingers pointing toward heaven.
When the five-year-old me got lost–forgetting whether my class sat on the left side of the church or the right–and had to sit with the second-graders at daily Mass, Sister Amabilis found me and welcomed me back to her brood.
I could hardly believe I’d found such a perfect tribute! The writer’s description matched “Mobbie,” as she was fondly called by her fellow nuns, perfectly. Well, it turns out it was written about another Sister Amabilis, who taught first-grade in Michigan. Still, it’s an amazingly good fit.
All the family members I’ve talked to about Sister Amabilis remember the same thing, “Everyone loved her.” Her tiny bird-like voice suited her diminutive size perfectly (she was well under five feet tall). Her laugh was like wind chimes, softly blowing in the breeze.
I’ll always marvel at how in the world she could keep a classroom of 60 six-year-olds under control. For 58 years!
She did it with love and kindness. She never lost her temper.
Here’s the list of parish schools where she taught over nearly six decades, all in Connecticut:
- St. Patrick, Hartford
- St. Mary, New Britain
- Sacred Heart, Waterbury
- Saint Augustine, Bridgeport
- St. Mary, Milford
That last school was in Milford, where we lived in the early 1960s. My oldest brother, Harry, attended first grade there, across the hall from Sister Amabilis’ classroom. “She watched out for me,” he remembers.
My mother loved to drop by to see her Aunt Margaret (which she pronounced “Marguerite”). Mom would bring a red rose and Sister Amabilis would let her place it on the altar in church.
Mobbie retired in 1987 and remained at her home at Mercyknoll until her death in 1991 at age 95.
… and I know in my heart that like her namesakes, she had a reputation for holiness.
—————-
Update: Thank you to Catherine, one of Sister Amabilis’s former first graders, who shared the link to this post on the St. Mary School Facebook page. Since then, we’ve heard from dozens of her students from long ago. Thank you for all the wonderful reminiscing both in the comments (below) and on Facebook.
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Sister Amabilis was my first grade teacher at St Mary in Milford, CT 1969-70. She taught me how to read which to this day is one of my strongest abilities. She was in fact tiny, even to a first grader and even tempered but at the same time organized, thorough and commanded respect. Everyone loved her.
Thank you so much for posting – it’s exciting to “meet” one of her students. I remember her voice so well, too, and always wondered how she was heard over all of those youthful voices!
I had Sister Amabilis 1965-66 at St. Mary’s. I still remember her kindness.
Thank you so much for posting. Being remembered for kindness is such a wonderful legacy for our dear Sister Amabilis.
Thank you so much for this article. Sister Amabilis was my first grade teacher at St. Mary’s (1970-1971). She left quite an impression on me as I can still remember how kind she was. I recall how she’d make sure each of our winter coats was zipped, helped us put on our boots to go home on winter days. She’d even walk around the classroom with safety scissors at lunch time cutting the tops off any of our prepackaged bags of snacks, etc so we’d not have to struggle with them. I can still picture her at the front of the classroom with a large flip chart on wheels teaching us to read. Math class included the use of an abacus for each student. Thanks again for sharing this article and photos.
These are such wonderful memories – thank you for sharing! My gosh, I wonder if today’s children even know what an abacus is! (I got a colorful one for my children to use years ago.) I wonder how many students Sister Amabilis taught during her many years in the schoolroom.
What a great article for a great lady. I never had her as a teacher, but admired her from across the hall at St Mary’s in Milford. I had a young nun for the 1st few months in 1st grade- then she left the nunhood & we got Ms. Hamill. Enough said on that change. Everyone loved your great aunt. 4 of my 6 siblings went to St. Mart’s & loved her. Thank you for sharing. God Bless.
Thanks for sharing your memories, Peggy! I remember back in grade school (Sacred Heart Elementary in Pittsfield, Mass.) not always getting my “top pick” for teacher each year. I feel your pain – ha!
I remember Sister Amabilis very well. She was my first grade teacher in 1970-71 at St. Mary’s. She was so sweet! I clearly remember her pointer stick! I was a chatty student and it was pointed at me frequently! As we moved to the upper grades she always had kind words of encouragement when I’d see her in the halls. She is the teacher I remember the most from my 8 years there! We all loved her!!
This is so heartwarming – thank you! When I researched this post, I had a hard time gathering much specific information about Sister Amabilis. It brought tears to my eyes, because it means so much for her to be remembered, and I knew I wasn’t telling her true story. Seeing all these comments posted by her former students means so much to me and to all her family!
Sister Amabilis was my first grade teacher in 1970 I loved her so much! I cried when I found out she wasn’t going to second grade with me. After she retired a few of us would cross the parking lot to the convent at recess to visit her and she would always give us a Hershey’s mini bar before we went back to class. To this day, she was the kindest person I’ve ever met.💕
Thank you for this wonderful memory. I’m sure she loved your visits!
I too had her in first grade at St Mary. I remember the day President Kennedy was shot and we were told that we were going home early from school. She was famous for pulling a few loose teeth from my mouth. She was a petite angel in my eyes.
Thank you so much! These memories are precious to us! (Her niece Joan, my mom, just passed away in November. They had a wonderful relationship.)
I also had Sister Amabolis, like Suzanne I remember her telling us something very bad had happened, and that our parents would tell us about it, when we got home. That was the day President Kennedy was shot. I’ll never forget that moment. I always remember her as being my favorite teacher at St. Mary’s in Milford.
1962-1963 school year.
I remember that horrible day, too. Sounds like the Sisters handled it in the best way possible. Thank you for remembering Sister Amabilis!
Both my father and my sister had Sister Amabilis. My father in Bridgeport and My sister at St Mary in Milford. She remembered my father 30+ years later when sh had my sister and attended his funeral 30+ years after that. A remarkable lady.
Thank you, Sally. It’s wonderful to know how close she was to her students, even long after they’d moved to another grade.
This article and photos, especially the one of her holding that adorable baby, are heartwarming. I was fortunate enough to have Sr. Amabolis from 1966-1967. What I remember most about her was her gentleness and holiness. I can still see her holding a single daffodil and sharing it with us one spring day. As an adult, I needed my baptismal certificate from the rectory and she was there to greet me, remembering my name ! That was the kind of person she was, always making every student feel special. What a blessing she was to our school community.
And now that baby is the mother of two little boys! It’s so wonderful for our family members to see how lovingly Sister Amabilis is remembered. Thank you.
I was in Sister Amabilis’s final first grade class at St. Mary’s. We all loved her and as second graders, we would ask permission to go over to visit her at the convent.
Oh, I’ll bet she was delighted to see you! Thank you so much for this memory.
I will never forget Sister Amabilis. She called to request permission to give my son Greg additional work as he was finishing so quickly, he was then bored. I said of course. She saw his potential and sent him in the right direction for all of his educational years. God bless her. He excelled thanks to her.
This is wonderful to know – thank you for posting!
Sr. Amabolis was my first grade teacher in 1961. I was very sickly and thin. She often took time to coax me to drink my milk at lunchtime. I could see her concern in her eyes. She was the first one to see my dyslexia and, with the abacus, helped me bring order to mathematics. To this day, when I teach a student with learning challenges, I model my approach after the exact way She helped me.
Another incredible memory of Sister Amabilis – thank you for posting, Mary!
My sister Dolores Galvin had her in first grade at Saint Mary’s in Milford 1968-1969.
Thank you for posting here – it’s so wonderful to hear from the families of Sister Amabilis’ students!
I had Sister Amabilis in 1st grade @ St. Mary’s in Milford in 1961. I LOVED her so much. I have a twin sister who was across the hall in Sister Mary Mcbride’s class. One day after lunch they called us into the hallway then brought both of us into the classrooms and told the class that even though God made us to look alike we had different personalities. When we moved into 2nd grade, she presented us with a framed drawing that I have hanging in my hallway that says “We are, it’s plain to see, I am just like you- you’re just like me . Two grown together from the start, beneath our mother’s loving heart. Though soon we’ll walk our separate paths, you’ll always be my other half. Lord, thank you from us both cause we were born with our best friend. Amen. Her kindnesses and loving ways have stuck with me through all these years. She was a real class act. Someone I will NEVER forget.
That’s so beautiful! Thank you for sharing, Arlene.
Thank you for this wonderful article about Sister Amabilis. She was my teacher from 1966-1967 at St. Mary’s in Milford, and I just loved her! She was kind and soft-spoken, just the sort of teacher you need at that age. I was very young for first grade and also very shy, and I was nervous about school. Sister Amabilis kindly helped with my adjustment by letting me bring my favorite doll to school to keep on my desk during the school day. I will never forget her!
That is so sweet – thank you! (I have a feeling she never forgot you, either.)
I too was a student of Sister Amabilis at St. Mary’s in Milford. On our first day of 1st grade, she taught us to print the word, God. G O D. That and a flower. I had no idea how fortunate my classmates and I were that year. Sister Amabilis was the kindest teacher I ever knew. I wonder how many of my 1st-grade classmates remember that first day.
What a beautiful memory! Thank you so much for sharing it here.
Sister Amabilis was my great aunt (Paula and I are cousins.) I remember her as emanating light, loving kindness, and mirth. She had smiling eyes that seemed to take delight in greeting you.
In 1995, my parents visited me at Yale for parents weekend. We were chatting with Fr. Bob Beloin, Chaplain at St. Thomas More, the Catholic chapel on campus. Somehow it came up in conversation that my father Ray Cassidy was Sr. Amabilis’ nephew. Fr. Bob started to melodramatically bow to my dad as if he was royalty. He said Sr. Amabilis was the holiest person he’d ever met and he bows before her family. I think he may have had her as a teacher and/or worked in her school’s parish. I have to say I think we all agreed with him. When I think of her now, her gentle gaze feels like God’s love made manifest.
Thanks for sharing this story, Marie! I told my dad and he responded that he knew Fr. Beloin – in fact, Dad and Mom were servers for the funeral mass he said for his mother about 10 years ago. When Father Bob realized their connection with Sister Amabilis, he dramatically bowed to them as well.
Wow, so many interconnections! Fr. Bob was an amazing priest. Happy to hear your parents knew him.
Beautiful memories. Sister Amabilis was a channel of God’s infinite love and peace.
Was she your teacher? It’s so wonderful to hear from people who knew her!