A number of years ago, Gary and I were in Amish Country in Daviess County, Indiana. We strolled over to a nearby flea market (more to walk off the good meal we’d just enjoyed, frankly, than any desire to shop).

We wandered by several rows of tables in the open-air market. After a few minutes, I noticed Gary was no longer by my side.

He motioned me over, back to a table I’d hurried past.

Gary pointed sadly toward several boxes.

“Look. It’s someone’s old photos. They’re probably a hundred years old or more. How could someone give away their family’s pictures like that?”

Gary may look like a tough-guy farmer, but he’s a softie inside. He’s a gatherer of stories and a teller of tales. The thought of forgotten lore – and abandoned photos – bothered him deeply.

I recently came across this poem and was so pleased to instantly recognize the photos Mom references in this poignant memory of her parents.

and yet

before the great depression
before his father died
before they left the house that he was born in

my father had his picture taken in a studio
short fair curls
warm kitchen eyes
his arm lay on the pedestal beside him

before her sister’s breakdown
before her sweetheart died
before she was the only girl of four to marry
my mother had her picture taken on a donkey
long dark hair
eyes fierce with spanish dreams
her hands ready at the reins

and yet
she never left the house that she was born in
although she married him and moved away

~ joan vayo 19 June 1977

A fan of American poet ee cummings, Mom styled her poems in a similar fashion, using lower case almost exclusively. She told me the humble look of it appealed to her.

Here’s the photo of her curly-haired father, Raymond Francis Cassidy:

Mom’s mention of “before her sweetheart died” was new information for me. Dad remembers hearing stories about numerous suitors during Grandma’s teen years – and that several earned themselves a hearty slap across the face. (Good for you, Grandma!) Aunt Bunny recalls a story about a Marty Murray, who told his mother, “That’s the girl I’m going to marry.” Marty was just 19 years old when he passed away in 1923, poor lad.

This photo of Grandma Cassidy is actually a postcard. Dated September 11, 1917, she was just 14. It was taken at the Berlin Fair (in Berlin, Connecticut).

We have a photo from their wedding.

Mom’s parents married on June 24, 1929. The church was St. Francis in New Haven and the celebrant was Father William Casey.

Mom’s sister, Bunny, identified the members of the wedding portrait for us. That’s Grandma and Grandma Cassidy in the front row, with “Pop” Regan in the middle. The back row, from left: Grandpa’s sister Ethel, Grandma’s brother Joe’s wife Helen, Grandma’s sister May. Next are Grandpa’s brothers Walter and Jack Cassidy, who flank Grandma’s brother John (the only one smiling).

Sifting through a century of family photos, Gary and I realize the more answers we uncover, the more questions we add to the list. Whether looking back to my grandparents’ nuptials – or forward to John and Aubie’s wedding in April – there will never be an end of stories to share.

“and yet” © 1977 Joan Vayo. All rights reserved.

Would you like to receive an email notice when there’s a new Too Much Brudders post? Sign up here: