Wreaths are a welcome part of our family’s Christmas decorations.

Off the top of my head, I can count at least seven wreaths around our house, inside and out. Maybe more. I have a thing for wreaths.

No doubt, I got it from Mom.

Farmer Gary, however, is more than willing to take them down as we move into double digits during the twelve days of Christmas. Because, around here anyway, those wreaths make festive homes for birds.

This afternoon, I was in the back of the house and Gary called me. “Stay where you are,” he cautioned. “There’s a bird loose in the house.”

Now this isn’t the first time it’s happened, so we knew what to do. Gary closed interior doors. He opened exterior doors. I grabbed a throw and blocked the hallway into the back of the house.

“He’s on the fridge,” Gary whispered dramatically as he crept toward the front door. I thought twice about suggesting a second bird might fly in when he opened it.

It didn’t take long before the little birdie headed back toward the side door where “his” wreath hung. Gary reopened that door and we were bird-free moments later.

This evening, I asked Dad if he and Mom had ever had this sort of festive flier swoop through their doorway. Mom preferred wreaths made from fresh greens, so it would make sense for birds to snuggle in and maybe even start a nest.

But no, Dad never had to deal with winged intruders dashing through their wreathed doors.

He did indeed have a wreath story, though. It concerned the year he didn’t measure.

Dad called himself all sorts of uncomplimentary names as he detailed the circumstances.

Or rather the circumference.

Nice wreath, huh?

Take another look. The wreath is wider than the doorway.

Rather than take that beautiful wreath back for a smaller version, Dad secured it to the doorway and hoped visitors wouldn’t mind entering the house through another door.

Or, you know, ducking.

Suddenly Dad and I realized we’d missed the yuletide boat on this. What a great merchandising idea for ensuring doorstep social distancing over the holidays! Or even during non-pandemic years, this would be ideal for introverts. We could have marketed the oversized ring of greens as Wreath Relief.

Ah, our Christmas coffers would have been overflowing. Maybe next year …

(And yes, Dad is wearing his Elmer Fudd hat in that photo.)

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